Bill Simmons gives a special discount on his inbox while making his Week 12 picks. – Grantland

by Scott Smith

Q: As I sit here watching my hapless Bills I am once again reminded that my relationship with this team is like a bad-long term relationship. You know, the kind where you are dating a guy and he eventually becomes comfortable with you and feels like you are such a good pal he no longer has to impress you by buying gifts and taking you to nice dinners and next thing you know you are in a relationship that is so non-exciting you decide to break it off. Then he apologizes and says he will work harder so you say ok, I’ll give it another shot, he can change (because at this point you really believe men can change). And it starts again, he’s back to sending flowers, taking you to nice dinners and you are all excited and you think he’s changed (but he really hasn’t…and you know this but you convince yourself he has so you can be happy for a little while) and eventually things go back to the way they were. The endless cycle keeps going until someone finally has the wherewithal to just put the relationship out of its misery and end it. I feel ashamed for having loved the Bills again. They have gone back to their old ways. When will I learn?
— Francesca, Philadelphia, PA

SG: You left out the part where your boyfriend flies to Toronto once a year to have sex with someone else.

I’m a little bit loaded for the holidays, but I think this is pretty darn funny.

Advertisements