Always Ask Questions

by Scott Smith

I’ve made a decision to become a more open and brazen heathen; more intentional and overt in my heatheness because Goddess knows we heathens are ALL just too closed mouthed and it gets a little tiresome to have everyone assume that I share their Christian beliefs.

An extremely nice woman invited my 10 year old son to come with her son to their church youth group Halloween celebration. My first instinct was to make some excuse about why he couldn’t go because, well, it was something organized by organized religion. However they don’t go to the church that I absolutely despise and this boy is a close friend of my son and they don’t get to spend much time together because we are all so busy over scheduling our kids. So, silly me, I convince myself that nothing could possibly go wrong. It’s a church, they won’t let things get too scarey. Apparently I’d forgotten all of my own childhood Bible lessons.

The night’s entertainment included a woodland scavenger hunt. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Well, it was based on the Old Testament plagues. That’s right… locusts, blood in the water… death of the first born son. There was a story about a man who traveled through time back to ancient Egypt and that silly bastard didn’t put blood over his threshold because he thought that as a time traveler he was immune to God’s wrath. So, there lay his dead body in the woods for a bunch of little kids to stumble across. I have no idea how realistic this “dead body” was, but I do know it freaked my kid out. I do know that he had some deep, dark circles under his eyes the next morning at school. I do know that I’m kicking myself now for not having the balls to say, “I’m sorry, we don’t allow our kids to attend church functions,” because I’m afraid of offending the beliefs of others.

So, how about my beliefs? When are the Christians going to stop assuming that just because I’m a nice and decent person that I believe the same stuff that they do? I don’t assume that they are heathens like me because they are nice and decent people. The thing I’m saddest about now is that my biggest fear is that this woman will stumble across this blog entry and be offended at my being offended. Sheesh.